We Apologize for the Confusion?

I received the following communication from one of my banks. I have no idea what they are saying. Your guess is as good as mine. I have modified the statement to bold the unintended humor from my bank.

Dear Customer,

If you recently received an e-mail notice titled "Important changes to your online legal agreements," it was in reference to a secure message we sent to you in December.

You may disregard the e-mail notice, because you should've received it at the same time we sent you the secure message. You should not expect to see an additional message about legal agreement updates. We apologize for the confusion.

Please reply to this message if you have any questions or concerns.

Thank you for being a valued BigBank customer.

Sincerely,

BigBank Customer Service

Now THAT'S Real Money

The government thinks doctors make too much money. They say that's why health care is so expensive. We just need to reduce what we pay them, and then health care will be affordable, or so the adminstration believes.

Wow, have they aimed at the totally wrong target. This psychic adviser, pictured here, makes over a thousand dollars an hour. I don't know if she's worth it or not. She says she was born with psychic abilities and has been helping people since she was five years old. And she's a fast typer! That ought to be worth something when you're paying almost $20 a minute.

Definitely cute, but I don't think you have to be cute necessarily to make a lot of money. Looks like ordinary looking folk also do well at this.

So I'm wondering if the President ought to be looking at psychics to pay for all of this stuff. Looks like doctors are making less than psychics. Of course, in a free market you get paid whatever the seller and the buyer agree upon.

Call Back With a Translator

I'm sure I'm going to be punished someday for laughing at this today, but dammit, it's funny.